


The Party, The Lack Of Guy & The Crack Cocaine

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (strangeradventuresofstarwars)



Category: Green Wing
Genre: Established Guy Secretan & Sue White, F/M, Mac & Caroline Are In Despair, Mac Macartney Deals With Idiots, Sue Becomes Increasingly More Scottish When She's Wasted, Sue Get's Hammered, This Is STUPID, Typical Green Wing Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-25 19:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18581449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeradventuresofstarwars/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Caroline & Mac throw a party, Guy is having trouble getting there & Sue White is completely & utterly wasted.





	1. The Party, The Lack Of Guy & The Crack Cocaine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MadamMissy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamMissy/gifts).



I don't own anything.

 

It's a special day for a Mac.

It's four years to the day that he found out that he wasn't dying of some awful terminal disease and he has decided to throw a party at Caroline’s every year since to commemorate the occasion where he invites everyone who works at the hospital and more, all his friends, to have fun, get pissed and enjoy life.

Every time another year goes by he thinks to himself about how lucky he is to still be alive after that awful scare and has vowed since then to always live life to the fullest.

He'd be completely content right now what with all the booze and entertainment but his best friend, partner in crime. Guy Secretan is not there.

He'd nipped back home for something after work and hasn't come back.

“Phone him. It will make you feel better if you phone him.” Caroline suggests when he mentions to her that Guy hasn't yet arrived,

“About to. Martin. MARTIN PASS ME MY BLOODY COAT!” Mac screams over the music to Martin Dear.

“Sorry mate, didn't hear you.” Martin chucks the jacket towards Mac, who is quick to pull out his phone.

“Where are you?” Mac yells down the phone to Guy Secretan the second the call connects..

“Stuck on the bloody motorway. There's been an accident.”

“Are you helping?” Caroline grabs onto Mac’s arm.

“Of course I'm bloody not.” Guy retorts.

“You're a doctor, if someone's hurt you should be helping.” Caroline growls down the phone.

“Yeah about that…”

“What aren't you telling us?” Mac folds his arms.

“I'm kind of the one in the accident. Don't worry! I'm fine. I'm walking and talking. Well talking.” Guy tries to assure them.

“Fucking hell.” A look of genuine concern crosses Mac’s face.

“Dear god Guy. Do you want us to come over, we can come and get you. We can help, please let us help.” Caroline calls down the phone.

“Oh don't worry about. It's being sorted. I'll be at the bar eventually. It's just taking a bit of a while is all.” Guy shrugs off their worry.

“Guy, you've been in an accident mate, maybe…”

“Maybe nothing, I'm fine. I'm still with it, still me and in a desperate need of a pint.” Guy retorts.

“Fucking hell Guy.” Both Mac and Caroline glances at the phone with worry.

“Oh, put it out of your minds. It's us! We’ll be laughing about in no time. Don't worry about me and don't tell Sue that I got in an accident. She'd never let me live it down.”

“Or Martin for that matter.” Guy adds after a moment.

“I'm sure, like us, they'd be very worried about you.” Caroline points out.

“Nah. Sue would just laugh about my track record with cars and road accidents and comment on my blatant fucking idiocy.” Guy shrugs off the worry again.

“Was it your fault?” Mac enquires.

“Bet it was.” Caroline mutters under her breath.

“Actually no. The other wanker came out of nowhere. Smacked right into the side of my car.” Guy mutters.

“Are you sure you don't want us to come?” Mac reiterates his want to help his best friend.

“Nah, just keep at the partying, I'll see you when I see you.” Guy informs them before promptly hanging up.

“Do we go to him?” Caroline eyes Mac with worry in her eyes.

“I don't know, but maybe we should go and find Sue, tell her that Guy’s going to be late.” ,ac suggests.

“Or, I don't know. Just tell her that he's got into a bloody accident.” Caroline shakes her head.

“Maybe, I'd love to see her rip him a new one when he gets here.” Mac chuckles, using humor to disguise his genuine worry for his friend.

“She's over there.” Caroline points to where Sue White is in the corner of the living room, drinking heavily.

“This is going to be fun.”

“Let's do it.” Mac starts off in her direction.

“I'm going to tell Martin, you handle her.” Caroline pushes him on his way.

“Sue White.” Mac calls her name as he's approaching the wildly unpredictable woman.

“GUY!” Sue throws herself into Mac’s arms the second her nears.

Wow she's hammered.

“It's taken you fucking long enough. Where the fuck you been?” She yells at him, her Scottish accent thicker than ever.

“Woah!” Mac grabs her, holding her at arms length when she moves to kiss him.

“I'm not Guy. Sue, I'm not Guy, jesus you're wasted. How much have you had to drink?”

“Urgh.” Sue eyes him with displeasure when she realizes that Mac is not Guy and subsequently pushes him away much to Mac’s relief.

“Where is Donkey boy? He's missing out! Guy!” Sue yells again, looking past Mac, who does turn around this time, hoping that it is actually his friend having arrived at last.

Yet the person Sue bounces over to is not Guy. It's Caroline instead.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Sue growls at her before kissing her.

“WOAH!” Mac moves to pull her back.

“That's not Guy, that's Caroline. Caroline. Dr. Trodd.” Mac tries to explain.

“Thanks.” Caroline glares at him.

“You're welcome.” Mac replies with equal sarcasm.

“Well, it can't truly be a party if I haven't drunkly made out with Sue White.” Caroline speaks, a little dazed.

“I don't know if Guy would be pissed or aroused.”

“Definitely aroused.” Caroline mutters.

“Crack cocaine?” Sue whisper-yells to them both.

“What?!” Both Mac and Caroline eye her with suspicion and concern.

“Do you want some?”

“No! Who the hell brought crack to my house?” Caroline whispers to Mac.

“God knows, we've got the entire hospital and more here. Could be anyone…” Mac trails off, noticing that Sue has disappeared.

“Oh god.” Caroline groans.

“We better find her. God, Guy’s going to murder us.” Mac mutters as both he and Caroline start to search for Sue.

“Has your house somehow gotten bigger?” Mac questions Caroline as they're searching for Sue.

“Nope!” Caroline growls at him, sighing with relief when she spies Sue sat dangerously on the bannister.

“Up there!” She grabs Mac’s attention.

“Are ya sure yer don’t want some crack?! Might loosen yer up a bit.” Sue yells down to Caroline.

Who doesn't know if she should be laughing or crying.

Sue takes the silence as a conformation.

“I'll ask around.”

“No! No one is having any more crack cocaine tonight.” Mac holds his hands up moving to stand between both of the women.

“I wasn't going to say yes!” Caroline snarls at him. 

“Are yer sure?” Sue leans across the bannister, pretty much falling off it at the same time.

Mac catching her quickly.

“Get the fuck.” Sue pushes him off but Mac stays where he is and guides her off the bannister.

“More drinks hey? Or we could get some crack. Yeah let's get more crack. We could use some.”

“Well…” Caroline tilts her head to the side, having contemplated getting another drink.

“There will be consumption of crack cocaine for the rest of the evening.”

“Not a sentence you hear every day.” Martin Dear comments from the bottom of the stairs.

“That’s because the consumption of crack is not something I'm normally concerned about every day.” Mac retorts.

“I genuinely don't think that normally has ever been used in a sentence including cocaine before.” Caroline notes.

“Neither do I.” Martin adds in his opinion.

“Off…” Sue tries to push Mac away but immediately stumbles.

“Sue, look at me.” Mac lifts her head up carefully so she's looking at him in the eyes.

“Fucking hell she's wasted. Drugged up to the bloody eyeballs.” Mac murmurs.

“I'm going to put a sign on the door the next time I throw a party. No consumption of drugs.” Caroline states clearly.

“I need a drink. We all need drinks.” Sue murmurs.

“Yes, of water.” Mac retorts.

“What's the matter with yer. Water? Are yer insane fucking moron.” Sue mumbles.

“Got to agree with her there.” Caroline says in a sing song voice.

“I'll go and get some. Give us a sec.” Sue manages to free herself from Mac this time and hops over the bannister thinking that they're steps in her drinker drugged up haze.

“FUCK!” Mac, Caroline and Martin exclaim all at the same time.

“Oh fucking hell.” Mac grips onto the side of the bannister.

All of them having witnessed Sue literally jumping off the bannister.

Thankfully crashing into Martin broke her fall but now both are in a some what motionless heap.

“Who do you think Guy’s going to kill first?” Caroline eyes Mac.

“Fucking hell.”

“Are you sure we shouldn't take her to the hospital?” Caroline queries.

“Fortunately we are sober doctor’s well. Sober and a half.” Mac eyes Caroline suspiciously.

“Anyway, we keep her here and check on her every so often I'm sure she'll be fine. She just needs to sleep all that off.” Mac eyes the form of Sue White, who Mac and Caroline had put on a bed in Caroline’s spare room.

“Who knows. We could all have a sleepover once Guy gets here.” Mac continues.

“Speak of the devil.. Ow..” Martin whispers, holding an ice pack to his sore parts after being trampled on by Sue.

“Hello! What have I missed? Got to say I'm absolutely knackered.” Guy Secretan says upon entry. Pausing in the door way when he sees his girlfriend seemingly asleep on the bed with Mac and Caroline gathered around her.

“What happened? Is she alright?” Guy eyes her worriedly.

“Well…” Martin starts.

“Oh she's just…”

“Resting.” Caroline finishes Mac’s sentence.

“Yeah, resting. To be fair we were going to call it a night ourselves. Let everyone let themselves out.” Mac finishes.

“Got to admit. I am tired myself. God that was a bloody nightmare.” 

“Well, you're welcome to stay. We were just saying. Good old slumber party for the five of us.” Caroline continues.

“That sounds great. My car is fucked, beyond fucked so I walked from the scene of the accident to here.” Guy explains.

“I really wish you wouldn't tell us these things.” Caroline shakes her head at him before grabbing Mac’s arm.

“We’ll leave you to get some rest then.” She says in farewell.

“Glad you're still with us mate.” Mac gives Guy a one armed hug.

“You to.” Guy nods, watching his friends leave before kicking off his shoes and sliding out of his jacket before climbing into the bed beside Sue.

“Hey.” Guy whispers to her.

“Finally here, at last. I made it. I'll tell you all about it in the morning. Well…” Guy trails off.

Perhaps the less she knows about the accident the better.

She doesn't even stir at his words or when he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

Yet, Guy cannot stop the wide grin that forms upon his face when she immediately rolls into his arms.

She's never been the one to hug him before in sleep.

Guy was fearful that she'd never sleep with him again after the first time they had sex and she said he was ‘all cuddly like a girl.’

But this is nice, this is lovely.

He can't wait to tease her about it tomorrow morning.

 

“So we’re not going to tell Guy that Sue is absolutely beyond wasted after drinking heavily and doing crack?” Martin queries as the three are walking down the stairs to bring the party to an end.

“Nah.” Mac puts his arm around Martin’s shoulders.

“I'm sure he’ll work it out in the morning when she wakes up.”


	2. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Morning After...

I don’t own anything.

 

The sunlight assaulting her eyes is what awakens Sue White from her drunken, drugged up slumber into a world that can only be described as actual agony.

It’s been ages since she’d properly let go like the previous night and did both heavy drinking and heavy drug use.

She has a hangover.

Worst bloody hangover she’s had for ages and everything hurts.

She can’t even remember the events of last night.

There was a party, she can work that out just by the state of her.

That’s it, that’s all she can remember and now...

Now she’s lying in an unfamiliar bed with her arm around someone.

Sue recoils immediately.

What the fuck has she done?

Has she accidentally cheated on Dr. Secretan in her drunken drugged up state?

Or... 

Please let it be Guy, please oh please let it be Guy... Sue thinks like a mantra as she lifts her aching head to peer at whom she is sleeping on.

It is Guy.

Sue definitely does not sigh with relief at that.

She doesn’t care really...

She does care that she’s got the hangover from fucking hell though.

Dragging herself up from the bed, wincing at all the stabbing pains she feels throughout her body, Sue moves to stand up.

Closing her eyes when her head throbs painfully and a wave of nausea washes over her.

Trying her best not to throw up, she moves slowly to stand.

However, the second she does get to her feet, her leg gives out from the agonising pain of standing.

“FUCK!” The Scottish woman hisses when she hits the ground with a loud bang.

“Sue!” Guy is awake in an instant at the sound of her both falling and swearing and is crawling across the bed to see what has happened to her immediately.

“Don’t!” Sue holds up a hand, her hair falling in and around her face.

“Don’t talk to me.” She hisses, trying to get to her feet and then having to bite her lip when the pain is too severe.

Which is why, she selects the option of crawling across the room towards the door in the corner that she prays leads to a bathroom.

“Uh, sweetheart. Is there anything I can...” Guy starts both anxiously and worriedly.

“If you say anything you’re dead, fucking dead Secretan!” Sue snarls as she crawls, hissing all the way.

Muttering a variety of curses as she has to lift herself up to open the door.

It is a bathroom! Thank fuck.

“Fucking fuckwits.” Sue growls under her breath as she slides her way into the bathroom, not even arsed to shut the door.

Leaving a perplexed Guy sitting on the bed wondering to himself about what the hell he missed last night at Mac & Caroline’s party.

 

Managing to use the bathroom sink to lift herself into a somewhat standing position, gripping tightly so she doesn’t have to put all her weight onto her sore leg.

Sue looks at herself in the mirror.

“Fucking hell.” The woman mutters.

She has fucking panda eyes from her mascara, her eyes themselves look a bit of a mess which Sue can assume is down to the drug use, her hair is everywhere and sitting out at all angles and there is a massive bruise on her cheek, that looks like it’s swelled up to a different size.

Christ what a night. She muses before the nausea becomes too powerful and she has to throw up in the near by toilet.

Shit! She thinks as she’s crouched over the toilet throwing up, the pain in her body worsening from having to move so quickly.

Her hair...

“Hey, Hey.” The aggravating sound of Dr. Secretan’s voice arises at just the wrong time and Sue sticks her finger up at him.

Not wanting him to see her in this state.

“Get out.” She seethes before bending over the toilet again.

“You’d have to kill me to get rid of me.” Guy chuckles as he bends down beside her to rescue her wild but lovely hair, pulling it away from her face. 

“Wait...” Guy pauses, fearful.

“Don’t do that. Please don’t kill me.” He’s not taking any chances.

“Give me a reason not to.” The woman hisses.

Guy laughs nervously, wincing a little when she buried her head in the toilet again.

His hands moving to rub her back, her side...

“FUCK!” She snarls at him.

“What?!” Guy nearly falls backwards onto his arse at the shock.

The Scottish woman doesn’t reply, instead she just hisses and curses and falls backwards herself, her hand hovering over her side.

That really, really hurts her.

“Are you in pain?” Guy eyes her worriedly.

“What does it fucking look like?”

“Where does it hurt? Tell me.” Guy makes slow movements towards her.

“Fuck off.” She mumbles.

“Can’t exactly do that.”

“You can if you want to live. Go let me clean myself up and then I’ll join you and... where the fuck are we?” Sue raises an eyebrow.

“Caroline’s...”

“Why’re we at Dr. Trodd’s?”

“The party.” Guy continues slowly, getting more concerned by the second.

“You know, Mac’s annual, I had a brush with death but came out on the other end alright because someone fucked up party? Can you not remember it, sweetheart?” 

“There was a party, I’m not that fucking dense.” Sue grumbles.

“Just can’t remember what happened during and up until this morning. I’ve got a fucking hangover, alright?”

“Okay...” Guy moves forward, pushing her hair out of her face.

“Look at me.” He encourages her softly, wincing when he sees the state of her eyes.

Her usual perfect icy blue eyes a little worse for wear, common from a wretched hangover especially if the person had been both drinking and using drugs, which Guy can deduct must have happened.

“Christ, what did you do to yourself last night?” He enquires louder than he’d intended.

“I don’t fucking know.”

“What did you take?”

“I canny remember that Guy, for fucks sake, didn’t even know where I was a moment ago.” Sue hisses at him.

“What...” Guy trails off when he finally registers the massive swelling on her cheek.

“Shit.” He moves to stroke her cheek but she lets out a cry and he stops immediately.

What the hell happened to her last night! Guy is wondering.

Contemplating what he’s going to do to Mac and Caroline when he sees them.

Get to the bottom of this for certain!

“Where else hurts?” Guy asks calmly.

“Everywhere yer wanker. Everything fucking hurts and there’s nothing you can fucking do about it!”

“Actually.” Guy cuts her off.

“I can, I am a doctor.” He reminds her.

“Oh yeah.” She murmurs after a moment.

“Anaesthetist.” 

“Still a doctor.” Guy replies softly before reaching out towards his small girlfriend.

“Where are you in pain, I can help.”

“I’m fine.” Sue mutters stubbornly.

Guy wasn’t expecting anything less.

She’s going to be as stubborn as humanly possible.

“How about, I run you a bath, a shallow bath so you don’t bloody drown yourself in it. You can clean yourself up or I can help you...”

“I’m not a fucking invild!” Sue snarls.

“Just trying to help here.” Guy holds his hands up in surrender before continuing.

“You clean up and I’ll go and get to the bottom of what happened last night.” Guy tells her.

“Fine.” Sue mumbles.

“Okay.” Guy moves to fill up the bath to a sensible amount, using anything at his disposal to make it warm and comfortable for her.

“Right, I’ll let you get on with that. I’ll go and find you something to wear.” Guy decides, guessing that her party dress can’t be very comfortable on her.

“Guy.” Sue murmurs quietly.

“Do you want a hand?” Guy guesses.

She doesn’t answer him.

Not wanting to admit that she needs help.

“Okay.” Guy smiles a little as he carefully picks his tiny girlfriend up into his arms, carrying her towards the edge of the bath.

“Do you want to do the rest or...”

“Do it.” Sue mutters.

“Alright, I mean I am a master of taking women’s clothes off.” Guy smirks as he moves to help her out of her dress.

“Especially yours.” Guy adds, smiling when Sue raises a hand to smack him around the head before resting her forehead against his.

The physical pressure of pressing her head up against Guy’s alleviating her headache a little.

Taking her dress off, Guy holds back a multitude of curses at the state of his girlfriends body.

The bruising and swelling of her side where she’d yelled at him for touching super visible.

She’s pretty much bruised all over.

Especially her leg that looks so painful, her knee having swollen up...

“Alright, sweetheart, I’m going to let you clean up, I’ll find you something to wear and get you some ice for some of those injuries.” Guy pauses before leaving.

“I’m also getting to the bottom of what the hell happened to you last night.”

 

Moving down the stairs, a little worse for wear himself after the car wreck which was a bit more serious than he’d let on to Mac on the phone.

He’d hit his head pretty bad and there was a cut across the side of his neck from where his seatbelt had saved him.

Yet that’s irrelevant to Guy right now. 

Now he wants to figure out why his girlfriends in such a state.

“Mac.” Guy greets his best friend in Caroline’s kitchen.

“Good morning.” Mac addresses him, appearing to be making breakfast which he stops doing upon seeing Guy.

“How are you? Look at me” Mac approaches him, eying Guy for any obvious injuries and checking him for concussion.

“I’m fine, I checked myself out as I was walking away from the car.” Guy assures him.

“There’s blood on your shirt.” Mac points out.

“No shit Sherlock.” Guy mutters.

“From that cut?”

“Such a detective aren’t you?” Guy teases him.

“I’m a concerned friend this morning, Guy Wanker. Would you like to borrow a shirt?” 

“Ooh I don’t know, wouldn’t want to get gingeritus.” Guy taunts him.

“Everyone. Everyone in this hospital is colourblind I’m fucking blonde! Golden blonde!” Mac tugs on one of his own locks of hair to try and get the point across.

“I actually would like a shirt thank you and could I have one for Sue?” 

“Fair enough.” Mac holds up his hands, moving towards the door with Guy.

“Did you sleep well?” Mac smiles at him.

“I did, well until my girlfriend got up and couldn’t bloody walk because her legs all swollen up. What happened to her last night?” Guy enquires.

“Wild night of partying.” Mac replies.

“I can tell. What did she take?”

“Oh just whatever was going around last night...”

“Mac, could I borrow a shirt, got a bit sick on mine.” Martin Dear’s voice interrupts them.

“Course you did, Fartin.” Guy snorts.

“Well at least I didn’t get into a car wreck... how are you by the way?” Martin can’t insult Guy for very long.

“Alright. Other car was a lot worse off. Fucking Statham...”

“Wait Alan? Alan Statham?” Mac’s eyes widen.

“Oh yeah, that odd fucker was going way over the speed limit. Smashed right into the side of me, fucking moron.” Guy grumbles.

“Did it kill him?” Mac looks entirely too hopeful.

“Oh, I wish and he will to if I see him any time soon.” Guy mutters in anger as Mac pops into an room, returning with three shirts.

Handing two to Guy and one to Martin.

“Is the other one for Sue? Is she alright?” Martin enquires.

“Bit of a mess I’m afraid and on that note, please tell me you’ve got some ice packs?”

“I’ll get them ready. Should we all meet on the sofa?” Mac suggests.

“Fine by me.” Guy nods.

“I’ll just see what she wants to do.” 

“I thought we could all nurse our various ailments together on the sofa’s today, Caroline said she’d choose a film series, I was making breakfast and snacks, perhaps some hot chocolate for later?” Mac explains his idea.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I genuinely hope Sue’s alright, she scares me but I was scared for her last night, I mean it was one thing for her to be wasted but to get to a point where she literally threw herself down the stairs and onto me? God that cocaine must have been strong...”

“MARTIN!” Mac hisses at him, having been making hand gestures to try and stop him.

“What?” Guy turns on Mac and Martin.

“She did what?”

“There might have been a little bit of a crack cocaine problem last night. Don’t worry, I don’t think she took too much for it to affect her for any longer than her hangover today and possibly tomorrow but Caroline and I are putting some signs up around the house next time we throw a party to ban the stuff...” Mac explains calmly.

“Whilst that concerns me deeply, very, very deeply Mac Macartney, I’m more worried about the fact that my girlfriend fell down the stairs! Were you not going to mention that?!” Guy practically shrieks.

“You had a lot on your mind, you had a car accident and were tired and we were here, Caroline and I assessed her as best we could and we did what we could do at the time. Honestly I figured there might have been some bruising and swelling but we did make sure that nothing was broken just very badly bruised.” Mac continues in a calm manner.

“Jesus, Mac! Next time warn a man! Tell me what’s happened to my girlfriend, bloody hell!” Guy’s voice becomes incredibly high pitched.

“I didn’t want to worry you...”

“That didn’t work out did it? I’m worried!”

“I know but...”

“OI WANKER!” Sue’s sharp bark startles all the men.

“STOP YER YAPPING AND GIVE US A BLOODY HAND!” 

“Well that’s you summoned. Good luck.” Mac pats Guy on the shoulder.

“Still on for our calm afternoon, yeah?”

“Maybe.” Guy mutters.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“I’m sure you’ll get your own back on me. In fact, I’ll do you a solid and admit to where I put that blue dye.” Mac smiles.

“Okay...” Guy is intrigued.

“For starters I might just get my own back on you, Caroline’s a wild woman herself. Perhaps she’ll completely lose it whilst out drinking and you won’t be there and she’ll return to you without you ever being able to find out what happened.” Guy talks of his scheme.

“Fair enough.” 

“So, come on. Where was the dye?”

“I injected it into your yogurt.” Mac smirks.

“I knew it! Haha, that’s the last time I eat a yogurt with you.” Guy snickers, pleased with his small victory before turning and heading in the direction of the bathroom that Sue is in.

“But didn’t you say that it was...” Martin starts quietly.

“In his Fanta?” Mac winks.

“Ohh yeah.”

 

After helping Sue change into Mac’s shirt that is basically a long dress on the woman and assessing her for her injuries and just her current physical state, Guy snaps out of doctor mode and explains to Sue what happened to her.

“Oh yeah.” Sue cackles at the memory.

“I remember now.”

“It’s not funny! You could have really hurt yourself. You did!” Guy protests.

“The midget elf broke my fall.”

“You fell on Martin?” Guy smirks then, unable to keep himself from laughing.

“Why didn’t you lead with that? Now that is funny.”

 

After explaining the plan for the day, the next obstacle Guy had to face was getting Sue downstairs.

The incredibly stubborn woman that she is not wanting Mac, Martin and Caroline to see Guy carrying her.

“You cannot walk on that leg.” Guy states firmly.

“Watch me!” Sue moves to stand up, swearing and falling only a few moments later.

Guy catching and cradling her in his arms then.

“Should we try that again?” Guy smiles at her.

“You’re putting me down as soon as we’re nearing the room.” She warns him.

“We’ll see.”

“Oh, you will.” 

“Darling...”

“I will kill you, don’t think that I won’t.” Sue threatens him.

“Yeah...” Guy sighs. 

He won’t underestimate her.

He’s pretty sure she’s killed a man before.

“You’re learning, honey.” Sue pats his cheek. 

Frowning when she sees the cut across his neck.

She hadn’t noticed it before but being so close to him now she can’t miss it.

“What the fuck did I do to you last night? Can’t have been sex because you’re still walking and talking.” 

“It wasn’t you, sweetheart. It was kind of the reason why I was late.” Guy winces.

Knowing that he’s not going to be able to get out of that one.

“Yeah you weren’t there, were you?”

God she must have been wasted. Guy thinks to himself.

“The fact that you didn’t realise that I, The Guy Secretan, your man, wasn’t there is the reason why you are never going to take drugs again...”

“Oh just you try and stop me. See how that works out for you!” Sue smirks at him before patting his cheek again.

“Explain.”

“Kinda got in a car accident.”

“A car accident? What the fuck did you do? Please tell me you didn’t cheat on me with your mother...”

“Fucking hell.” Guy squeezes his eyes tightly shut.

“Seriously, was it someone I know?” Sue presses for information.

“It was Dr. Alan Statham, that mental fucker smacked right into the side of my car!” Guy reveals.

Wincing at the look in Sue’s eyes.

The pure murderous look. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“I wouldn’t even try and stop you.” Guy tells her honestly.

“I want to fucking kill him myself.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Sue tells Guy in a matter of fact way.

“No one and I repeat no one gets to kill you unless it’s me. I’m the only one who gets to kill you.” Sue states.

“Thanks... I guess?”

“Take it Secretan. That’s the way it is.”

Guy doesn’t know if he should be amused or afraid.

Afraid. Definitely afraid.

 

In the end, Sue’s hangover gets the better of her and she doesn’t even tell Guy to put her down even when they’re entering the living room.

Mac is sitting in the middle of the couch, his arm around Caroline, whom is sitting in one of Mac’s shirts and is pretty much holding onto a sick bowl.

“Fucking hangovers, am I right?” Caroline murmurs at the sight of Guy and Sue.

“Bet mines fucking worse.” Sue mumbles.

“Not even gonna argue with you.” Caroline groans, holding onto Mac tightly as a wave of pain washes over her.

“What about my hangover?” Martin whimpers from the other side of Caroline.

“Not now yer fucking twat.” Sue hisses as Guy sits down beside Mac, keeping Sue in his arms.

“Okay.” Mac rises to his feet.

“Noooooo!” Caroline whines when he pulls away.

“Give a sec...” Mac disappears for a moment before returning with a large trolley.

“Found this in the house after the party, I’m keeping it.” Mac pats the trolley.

“It’s not staying.” Caroline murmurs.

“It is.” Mac mouths to Guy, before revealing the treats he has gathered.

“Okay. Here’s a litre bottle of water for everyone in this room. I know you didn’t have a drink Guy but we all need to stay hydrated.” Mac passes around the bottles filled with water.

“Here’s some painkillers for us all, just simple ibuprofen for the old hangovers and again for you Guy because you must be in some pain after your accident.” Mac flashes him a friendly smile as he hands everyone some painkillers.

“Oh god your accident. Are you okay?” Caroline calls to Guy.

“Dr. Statham looked worse!” Guy replies.

“That fucker... He’s...”

“Going to die? Join the queue.” 

“We could do it together, team binding exercise. Bit of murder in the morning.” Caroline suggests.

“Only if I can lead it.” Sue murmurs.

“Yes, she’s the only one who can kill me. So I’m off limit bitches!” Guy sniggers.

“Nah this lot can maim you. They’re your friends.”

“Our friends.” Guy rubs her arm.

“I love how that’s the part that concerns you.” Caroline sighs in exasperation.

“I’ve got some snacks prepared here. Healthy salad bowl, some crisps and dips, popcorn.” Mac continues to show the stuff he has for their day.

“I’ve also got everyone a blanket.” Mac begins to throw blankets at his friends.

A soft purple one for Guy and Sue.

A green one for himself and Caroline and a blue one for Martin.

“Get all nice and cosy.” Mac rubs his hands together before handing Guy some icepacks wrapped in kitchen towels.

“For the injuries.” He states before making himself comfy in the middle of the sofa and in between Guy and Caroline, whom promptly curls up onto Mac the second he’s sat down.

Latching onto him like a koala to a tree.

“Sorry about this, sweetheart but it’ll help reduce the swelling and therefore the pain.” Guy whispers to Sue before placing one ice pack on her swollen knee.

Situating the other on his shoulder that got a little bit battered in the wreck and also because Sue is resting her head there and the part of her cheek that’s swollen up.

The final ice pack, he slides underneath her shirt and presses against her swollen side.

She hisses and swears at him a little but Guy simply just kisses the top of her aching head and holds her close to him to calm her.

Wrapping the purple blanket around them both before kissing the side of her head.

Guy feeling pretty much at peace where he is with Sue in his arms, her hand against his chest.

Turning her head, Sue presses a quick kiss to his lips before settling herself down to watch whatever film series Caroline has chosen for them.

All five of them sat on the sofa, each one of them wearing a shirt of Mac’s and touching each other in some way.

Sue is completely in Guy’s arms.

Mac is holding onto Guy’s arm due to the relief of just having his best friend here and alive after what happened to him last night and due to Mac’s own thoughts on mortality due to the fact that a few years ago yesterday he thought that he did not have long for the world.

Caroline is buried in Mac’s arms and Martin has his head on Caroline’s shoulder.

The film series Caroline has chosen is the Shrek series.

“Hey, Guy.” Mac whispers to his best friend minutes into Shrek.

squeezing his arm and pointing at the screen at the sight of Donkey.

“It’s you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely & a hundred percent for MadamMissy. Who deserves this so much for all the times they have kindly commented on my Green Wing one shots when no one else has. I look forward to every single one of your comments on my Green Wing one shots and appreciate them all so much, I absolutely love feedback on them, especially seeing as it would be rare to get feedback as not many are into Green Wing so thank you! thanks to everyone who read this and as always, please do comment and tell me your thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who is still reading my strange, out of character and quite terrible Green Wing fan fictions it means a lot. Please comment if you can and tell me what you thought of the story.


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